I love Miguel Delibes when he speaks of Ana, that “with his only presence lightened the sorrow of living”. In Ana he describes the resemblance of his wife, Ángeles de Castro, in “Woman in Red on a Gray Background”. It reminds me of Adam’s exclamation of admiration at seeing Eve, “this one is flesh of my flesh,” and Eve brought Adam out of the sorrow of being alone.
The writer Sergio Ramírez, when receiving the Cervantes Prize 2018, dedicated it to his wife through the great praise of “inventor”, “she invented the hours to write it; even more, she was a better novelist than me, as she invented my life. ” There is something of the Garden of Eden in this admiration, they were one, they write their life together, and better than just one, they accompany and help each other. A promise of creation is present, which imprints an order, and thereby a peaceful and patient peace, even though it takes time.
Trust in a commitment forever in order to have a full life is a premise prior to real love, although the years are necessary, remaining in the “I love you even more, though you do not realize it yet”. At some point we will be able to drag out a phrase of admiration like the one that Antonio López of María Moreno says, “she is the light that has guided me in my art and my life”, bearing in mind that for this, 50 years of marriage were necessary and clearly we have not yet reached the halfway point of this goal.
They are notorious, current examples of deep feelings and generous dedication, vital signs of long-term marriages. Artists, but simple of heart. They are not stars of the show that calculate their share. Only those who do not become arrogant and are able to consider their own weaknesses, are able to see the qualities of the other which enrich them, and that is when one can value the other as a gift, a treasure to take care of.
The difficulties, the illnesses, the frustrations, the fragility in short, assumed and digested little by little over time comes very well to achieve this. That is the challenge; to overcome the fragility in the other, with the other, and love the person.
Domination, gauging, the stingy resource that calculates time, counts the protagonisms and makes sure the successes are distributed equally, do not help. We all have some of this. The trick is not to get stuck, to go on, to overcome difficulties, to confirm the other, to support each other and thus life itself.
“The best for my partner”, that does work. And so, little by little, day after day, yielding some, without yielding others, strength and weakness alternate, some happier days, other days more gray, but as a whole it is taking shape, beauty, genius and figure.
María Moreno, a painter in the shade?… “No, she has always taken the decisions she wanted and the relationship with her art has made her very happy“. She is not a hidden painter, nor a minor, nor kidnapped. “She has had a full, fantastic and wonderful life, but if she relegated the painting it was for something more valuable, her family.”
And that’s what they are, NORMAL people. They are the ones who are worth it, the familiar ones, the real ones, the everyday ones. And this is, after all, the necessary tribute to the real woman and the real man… Each in their own way, they speak without shouting, they start up for their own and for others, without rivalry, without shouts or farce, with no useless ambitions.
They, together, do not star in movie novels, they are even better. There they are, simple and patient. They share their life, they give life, they take care of life, and that shows. It is a common project that never ends.
Are they a species in danger of extinction? My parents, my husband, my colleagues, my friends, my uncles and aunts… yours too. All those who sustain our ordinary life peacefully, and teach us to live together generation after generation without drama. They are faithful, patient, and they persevere.
In short, men and women with their limitations and defects, who know how to take care of each other and forgive each other. That’s how big and small stories live, always important, they leave a trail and make the way easier for others; they build a WORLD, which is worthwhile.